Wednesday, August 21, 2013


"Rcckon we'll ever be normal?" Charley "Pretty Boy" Floyd asked his accomplice in a bank robbery.
"I don't know about you, bud," Birdwell said. "I am normal. I been pretty much normal ever since I was born."
"Applesauce," Charley said. "You ain't a bit normal."
"We just watched a ball game," Birdwell pointed out. "Ain't that normal."
"Not if you rob a bank first, it ain't," Charley said. "If all we done was watch baseball, that'd be normal."
"But robbin' the bank was normal, too," Birdwell insisted. "We're bandits -- bandits gotta rob something, and banks are a helluva lot easier than trains."
"How would you know?" Charley asked him. "The James boys robbed trains. I guess we could too, if we tried."
"I did try, once," Birdwell told him. "That damn train wouldn't stop. The engineer didn't have the imagination to figure out I was trying to rob him.
"Banks ain't moving objects," he added. "That's why I favor banks and there's another thing to consider."
"What?" Charley asked.
"Most normal folks is bored shitless," Birdwell informed him. "They just sit around the house watchin' the grass grow, yellin' at each other, mostly."
Have you ever met a normal person?
Most of us think we're either normal and everybody else is an oddball, or we know we're not normal and we're still looking for a normal person.
I've never watched a ball game after robbing a bank, so maybe that qualifies me as being normal.
Normally I watch ball games while sipping on a tall cool one.
Football season is just 11 days away and then all of us Razorback football fanatics will be spending every Saturday in front of the boob tube hoping the Hogs flip their season around from last year's debacle and turn 4-8 into 8-4.

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