Dear Abby

One of the icons of journalism posted her last -30- last week.
Abigail Van Buren, nee Pauline Phillips, expiration date ran out last Thursday.
Biblically speaking Pauline adopted the pen name Abigail after the prophetess in the Book of Samuel ("Then David said to Abigail 'Blessed is your advice and  blessed are you' ") and Van Buren for its presidential heritage. Her first column appeared on Jan. 9, 1956, in The San Francisco Chronicle. She received compensation of $20 per week.
Her twin sister, Esther Lederer, earlier wrote as Ann Landers for The Chicago Sun-Times. She was swamped by letters and asked for advice from her sister.
She was forbade from sending letters out of the office so Pauline made inquires from the Chronicle.
Eventually a sibling rivalry ensued and they weren't on speaking terms for five years.
Abby tersely dispensed advise with a quick wit.
In 1976 she confided to People magazine that she had gone to see an X-rated movie. Her sister also wanted to venture forth to see it but was afraid of being recognized.
"How did you get away with it?" Landers queried Dear Abby.
"Well," Dear Abby quipped, "I just put on my dark glasses and my Ann Landers wig and went!"
They established themselves and the quintessential gossip columnists.
Ironically the Super Bowl pans out as a similar battle royale between two brotherly combatants, Jim Harbaugh of the San Francisco 49ers, and John Herbaugh of the Baltimore Ravens.
Ironically, the Ravens garnered their mascot from the avian in Edgar Allen Poe's poem "The Raven."
And that most famous line, "Nevermore," might be wiped out if the Ravens can repeat their Super Bowl feat by capturing their second title.
It should be a defensive tussle. Don't expect John and Jim to talk to each other much until after the Super Him(baugh) Bowl.

Linus, Luke Christmas

Let's all have a Charles Schultz Christmas.
Charlie Brown asked Linus, "What's the true meaning of Christmas?"
Linus dropped his blanket and waltzed over to a Bible and quoted Luke 2:8-11: "And there were in the same country Shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
"And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid.
"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
We watched this video at Central Methodist church during community meals.
That glorious message has nothing to do with Santa Claus or gift giving or decorating a tree or feasting on turkey and ham and dressing.
Jesus is the reason for the season!
We celebrate the birth of Jesus and his mission on Earth: To spread love. Work miracles. Love your enemy as you love yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Then, he endured the penultimate sacrifice. His life. He died to save us of our sins.
Then God performed the greatest miracle and Jesus' human body was resurrected.
The apostles witnessed this and spread the word founding a new religion based on Jesus' and God's love for us.
Our mission should complement Jesus'.
We should spread love throughout our daily lives with everyone we meet.
We should be missionaries converting others or just sharing our life experiences and being a good role model to praise God.
Red Skelton once said: "God blesses us all with a talent. When we utilize that talent that's a blessing to God."
My talent is writing. My New Year's resolution is to continue this blog and hopefully expand it into a book.
I'm just counting down the days when I receive my Social Security benefits and can afford a laptop.
So, everyone have a Joseph and Mary Christmas!

Ethics

"I want to be remembered as a winning coach, but I also want to be remembered as an honest and ethical coach." -- Darrell Royal

One of the coaching icons, Darrell Royal, just entered the football hall of heaven. He joins another legendary icon from Arkansas, Paul "Bear" Bryant.
Two of my favorite stories from the coaching lexicon revolve around these hallowed saints.
Once before a bowl game, Royal was queried if he planned anything different or surprising for the upcoming foe.
He quipped: "It's like when you take a girl to the local barn dance. You dance with the one who brung ya."
In other words, you maintain the offense and the defense that brung ya to the bowl game.
Royal and Arkansas' iconic coach Frank Broyles shared a unique relationship.
They were best friends during the off-season and enjoyed playing golf together. Their families even vacationed together.
That's unheard of in the modern era where some coaches exchange epithets rather than handshakes at the end of a hotly contested game.
The penultimate reward for a coach is to have the football field named after him.
Both Royal and Broyles share that honor.
When Royal announced his retirement prior to the conclusion of the 1976 season, Broyles preferred to forgo his announcement until after the Arkansas-Texas game.
But Orville Henry, the sports editor of the Arkansas Gazette, and a close personal friend of Broyles, thought it would give Texas a distinctive advantage that Royal's announcement might provide inspiration and motivation to the Longhorns, knowing their illustrative coach was bowing out.
So, Henry announced Broyles retirement prior to the game.
Broyles didn't appreciate the gesture because he had only told close friends.
Nevertheless, Texas upended the Razorbacks, 29-12.
Here's another gem from Royal: "You've got to think lucky. If you fall into a mud hole, check your back pocket, you might have caught a fish."
In the 1982 Sugar Bowl, Arkansas clashed with No. 1 Alabama.
"Bear" Bryant remembered a young coach climbing up his tower once during a practice session to try and impress him with a fake punt he'd devised.
Sure enough Bryant remembered that encounter and used that fake punt against Arkansas and Lou Holtz en route to the national championship-clinching victory.
I had the pleasure of covering that bowl game. My assignment was to go to the Alabama dressing room and interview the winning Crimson Tide.
Ugh!
Coach Bryant's quotes were indistinguishable on my tape recorder. He sounded like a bullfrog.
I had to resort to the Alabama hand out sheet to quote Bryant.
I always wondered why or if he ever contemplated coaching at Arkansas. He grew up near Fordyce, Arkansas.
In his biography I read that he was discontented at Kentucky and pondered interviewing for the vacancy position at Arkansas.
So, the Kentucky alumni furnished Bryant with a bottle of whiskey and kept him all night drinking and negotiating. He signed a new contract for $5,000 more.
What if Arkansas had reciprocated?
Oh, my!
Just another day in sports memorabilia.

I Hop to Waffle House

Whenever adversity strikes, I hop to Waffle House!
In the early days of my homelessness, I found myself sleeping in a field.
Whenever it rained I hopped to Waffle House, where they fed me.
Whenever a skunk, Pepe LePew, gnawed his way into my tent, I hopped to Waffle House and they gave me coffee and a safe place to hang out.
Whenever I had to dodge rain drops last weekend and await my Sunday cleanup of Razorback Stadium, I hopped to Waffle House on Dickson and stayed there all night drinking coffee.
So, the moral of the story is: if you need a safe haven, you can go to Waffle House and you'll be in the International House of Passion (IHOP).

Legend died

Sadly "Beano" Cook died today at the age of 83.
I remember when he predicted Arkansas would win the national football championship the year after the Razorbacks upended Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl.
He brought Hog fans into a feverish frenzy.
The Razorbacks were the cover boys of Sports Illustrated.
Alas, that cover jinx hexed the Hogs who didn't fulfill the nirvana dreams we had hoped for.
Kind of reminds me of this year's preseason hype and hoopla.
I thought it was intriguing that Beano never married.
His first love was sports and reporting about it and commenting about it.
He was a lovable man who exuded enthusiasm.
He also was a quick quipster.
When baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn offered lifetime passes to the freed hostages from Iran, Beano jested: "Haven't they suffered enough!"
He will be missed.

Tent city

It's ironic that the Fayetteville police tear down "campers" tents indiscrimately in the woods.
They literally rip them to shreds with their knives.
Those gnarly beasts!
But this week during "Bikes, Booze and BBQ" Dickson Street resembles "Tent City."
You bet your bottom dollar if you participate you'll be down to your bottom dollar!
The price of everything on Dickson skyrockets as the permanent merchants inflate their prices to attract huge profits from the bikers and their babes.
And an influx of entrepeneurly merchants from all over the United States of greed swoop into Fayetteville and erect tents and start cachinging their merchandise.
Is this good?
It all started when some bikers decided to have a poker run to benefit a cancer victim 11 years ago.
Year by year the event has grown by leaps and varooms.
No one really knows how many bikers blast into Fayetteville because there's no official registration. The only guesstimate is made by helicopters taking photos from above.
A good time is had by all, except for a few rowdies who get plastered and end up in Jailbird magazine.
But by and large it's a splendiferous event.
Who profits?
The "Tent City" immigrants and the Dickson Street moguls.
Everyone needs a "Bikes, Blues and BBQ" T-shirt.
Or at least that's what they would have you believe as you stroll up and down Dickson.
Ironically while I was homeless in Rogers and Bentonville a few years ago I dreamed the great American Dream and wanted so badly to come to Fayettenam for the pilgrimage.
Alas, I had no money and no ride.
Now, this week I've been enriched by a Triple Crown.
I labored 10 hours on Saturday helping supervise parking before the Razorback football debacle against Rutgers.
On Sunday I vacuumed for 11 hours cleaning up the remnants of peanuts, popcorn and other festive trash at Razorback Stadium. That job really sucked! (Pun intended.)
And, lastly but greatly I was informed our film "Why I Went to the Woods" won $400 for Sarah Moore and me.
I now have enough money to go down to "Tent City" and enjoy the festivities.
But, my heart and soul just don't feel up to the occasion.
I'd rather ruminate about how some of my brethren are just trying to survive in their own versions of tent city.
For them it's a 24-365 routine.
Just another day in paradise!

Serendipity

Serendipity: The faculty of making fortunate and unexpected discoveries by accident.
Whenever good fortune smiles on us, how do we act and react?
Last Friday exemplified a serendipitous weekend for yours truly.
Much to my chagrin a few weeks ago Mother Nature played a cruel trick on me as I was racing with the wind and trying to escape a torrential downpour.
Alas, when I ventured into the covered shelter at Walker Park, a library book and a DVD suffered the consequences of my misfortune and were dampened despite being sequestered in my backpack.
I meekly waited a week hoping Dame Fortune would smile on me when I submitted them back to the Fayetteville Public Library.
Whoosh! Gadzooks! Shucky darn!
I received letters from the library proclaiming I owed $5 for the DVD and $32.99 for the book.
So, I suffered the consequences and had to forgo using the computer and checking out books and DVDs.
Finally, my wheel of fortune spun in a positive manner.
A very nice lady saw me walking down Dickson Street two weeks ago and buoyantly asked me where I was headed. To the library to read she noted optimistically.
I then related my travails and revealed my library privileges had been suspended due to rain drain.
She pleasantly proclaimed she'd pay my fine. So, meekly and humbly I gave her my card.
When I next checked my library status, much to my manner of well-being I discovered she'd paid $20.
So, last Friday I summoned the courage and pled my case to Second Mile Ministries to see if maybe, just maybe, they could help me out with the remaining balance of $17.99.
The very cherubic lady from College Baptist Church in Fayetteville informed me that was the initial time anyone had made that kind of request.
After some soul-searching, she graciously requested from the treasurer that I be granted a reprieve and a check.
Miraculously, or maybe just a kind gesture of Christian benevolence prompted them to cut me a check for $17.99.
So, my sadness evolved into gladness.
Then, while still floating on Cloud Nine, I went to eat at Seven Hills.
My good fortunes multiplied when I was asked if I wanted to work Sunday helping clean up the upper echelons of Razorback Stadium.
Glory Be and praise the God above!
Saturday I worked seven and a half hours aiding Razorback fanatics park their vehicles.
And, seredipitously one of the parking attendants gave me a ticket to the game.
My euphoria lasted until the Razorbacks committed sooie-cide vis a vis, five turnovers.
Oh, well, I picked up the pieces of my disconsolated spirit after the 52-0 debacle and surged into Sunday to overcome the blow with some furtherance of my monetary gains.
For 12 hours we cleaned Razorback Stadium's plush theater seating area, sweeping up all the popcorn, peanuts and other remnants from the upper decks.
My back still aches from hauling the vac-pack vacuum cleaner, but I garnered approximately $88 which is payable via cash this Friday.
All in all, I earned $165, before taxes, to assuage my depressed feeling from the Razorbacks demise the past two Saturdays.
Originally, before looking up the definition of serendipity, I felt very blessed.
Now in retrospect and with the knowledge of the meaning of serendipity, I realize the serendipity might have been good fortune but maybe not by accident.
So, here's to you Chloe Seal, my good friend from Three Bags in Two Days!
And here's to you my providential benevolent spirit who used to work for Proctor and Gamble (who prefers anonymity)!
And here's to you Bob Wright for recommending me for the clean up job Sunday!
As we took a lunch break I told my co-workers: Once upon a time I covered the Razorbacks from the press box.
Never in my wildest dreams did I envision I would someday be on the cleanup crew!
Now I've penned the exploits of the Razorbacks as a sports writer. Ushered three years ago. Assisted in parking cars. And swept up the trash left behind in the luxurious penthouse suites.
What a roller coaster of emotions I've endured throughout all of this.
But it sure feels redemptive to be making money again.
I feel like I was in the right place at the right time.
Just another day in Hog Heaven!

And here's to you