Nunsense

Self-deprecating jokes increase humility in all walks of life.
When a clergyman pokes fun at himself, it's nice to laugh and observe that they're not all stuffy-headed.
Sometimes jokes in which the religious figure comes out on top also bring us the jollies.
A group of 20 cloistered nuns received a special gift of free tickets to a baseball game. The mother superior gave them permission to go to the gma and enjoy themselves which was a special treat to the normally cloistered environment they worked in.
So, they all sat together in one long row and bought sodas and hot dogs and popcorn and hats and noisemakers.
Soon they were rollicking and creating quite a commotion.
Behind them sat three grumpy diehard baseball fans, who became annoyed with these ebullient nuns.
One of them said loudly enough for the nuns to hear him say, "This is ridiculous! I'm going to move a few rows ahead, where there are probably only 10 nuns! Maybe then I can watch the game in peace!"
The embarrassed nuns sat quietly. But in a few minutes they were in high spirits and enjoying themselves again.
The second diehard fan says very loudly, "I'm going to move to the expensive seats. They are only five nuns there!"
The nuns were very embarrassed and sat quietly until they finally were having fun again.
Finally the third diehard fan angrily and loudly spouts off, "I'm going to the box seats! There are probably only two nuns there!"
Finally one of the nuns had lost here sense of decency and couldn't take it any longer. So, she remarked, "Why don't you go to hell? There are no nuns there!"
In his book "Between Heaven and Mirth" James Martin a Jesuit priest points out that humor and laughter in our daily lives embraces an essential truth: faith leads to joy.
Most humor is healthy and purposeful.
But like that beleaguered nun, sometimes we can only take so much and we have to speak out.

Sense of humor

A man enters a strict monastery. On his first day the abbot says, "You'll be able to speak only two words every five years. Do you understand?" The novice nods and goes away.
Five years later the abbot calls him into his office. "Brother," he says, "You've done well these last five years. What would you like to say?"
And the monk says, "Food cold!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the abbot. "We'll fix that immediately."
Five years later the monk returns to the abbot.
"Welcome, Brother," says the abbot."What would you like to tell me after 10 years?"
And the monk says, "Bed hard!"
And the abbot says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. We'll fix that right away."
Then after another five years the two meet. The abbot says, "Well, Brother you've been here 15 years. What two words would you like to say?"
"I'm leaving," he says.
And the abbot says, "Well, I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"
In a book I'm reading, "Between Heaven and Mirth" the author, a Jesuit priest emphasizes that God loves people with a sense of humor, if they apply it in a mirthful way.
Sometimes we attach stiffness of purpose and a lack of a sense of humor to the religious.
As the Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, "Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God."
Or  as the Protestant theologian Karl Barth said, "Laughter is the closest thing to God's grace."
It's one of God's enjoyments I'm sure to see Christians and Jews laughing and having fun.
So, as we all will be very solemn during the upcoming Passion week we must also keep in mind that a little humor can ease the pains and sorrows we sometimes must endure.
I've found another joke to share tomorrow.

How does it feel?

During my research and composition of my series of articles on the psychological feelings and exposition of the conflicts one experieces while not living in a stable environment, I now must confess, it's dangerous being a camper.
Two campers have been severely assaulted this year.
One, Michael Phipps, suffered burns to 45 percent of his body and he lost his prized possession, his fingernails which enabled him to play the guitar and make money to survive.
Another, who shall remain anonymous, to protect his privacy, was so beaten up in his tent that he went into a coma and doesn't remember what happened.
He spent a week in ICU and then called Human Services which helped him stay in a motel in Fayetteville for a week. Then his daughter helped him get another week's lodging in a motel.
His next game plan is to go the Salvation Army which he vowed to never go to again.
He told me he developed foot fungus there once while showering and never wanted to experience that misery again.
So, what's the moral to these sad sagas?
It's tantamountly urgent that these campers have a safe refuge to live in.
A homeless shelter would provide the missing link to survival.
So, it's my adamant goal to help solicit funding for the foundation of a homeless shelter in Northwest Arkansas. I know enough campers who would gladly provide their construction experience in building or remodeling an existing facility.
If anyone desires to participate in the steering committee which is currently meeting let me know via e-mail at davidlanier.lanier1951@gmail.com.
About all I can personally do is buy lotto tickets and pray I can win some money.
Otherwise, pray and seek further assistance.
Lives may hang in the balance.

Don't meth around

Hugs are better than drugs.
Two news items prompted this blog.
"Maggie Jean Wortman, 27, a Humboldt County, Calif., woman whose 6-week-old son died of methamphetamine toxicity after drinking her breast milk, has been sentenced to six years in prison."

Wyatt Gungoll, 24, of Enid, Okla., and his girl friend have been incarcerated after the girl called 911 to report a medical emergency.
Her two-year-old child had vomited a baggy and ingested meth.
Responders found three meth labs in the vicinity of the boy and other pharmaceuticals.
The baby was rushed to the emergency room with a heart beat of 210 per minute.
Both the male and female are not in custody and the baby has been turned over to human services.

These are two of the most despicable news items I've ever had the displeasure to read.
The careless and inhumane treatment of these two innocent boys is indescribable.
Anyone who can't take care of a child and prefers to do their own thing -- meth -- have no sympathy from me.
To be so careless and permit their baby to die from meth milk deserves punishment both now and in the hereafter.
And to carelessly let a baby swallow a meth baggy deserves punishment now and in the hereafter.
Hugs are better than drugs.

Pray constantly

This will be a very solemn and sad plea for prayers.
One of the unfortunates in Fayetteville suffered an ignominious fate Monday night.
Some prankster set his tent on fire and didn't come to his rescue.
Sadly he was airlifted to Little Rock for severe burns. He was in a coma when he was found.
Rumors have it the culprit is in jail now, but it's not humane to even comment on that incident.
Just pray for Michael Phipps.

Happy Valentine's Day

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
"Though I have all faith, so that I could move mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.
"And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing.
"And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." -- 1 Corinthians 13

Biblically speaking there are three variations of love.
Agape, love of all mankind.
Erotic love.
Romantic love.
We all say "Happy Valentines' Day" to our loved ones today.
But the true meaning of love expresses our love for our fellow man on a daily basis.
There are some of us who still love our significant others.
But all the faith in the world and all of our hopes and dreams for the future can't be accomplished unless we love our fellow man with agape love.
I've been blessed to experience that agape love during the holidays and during the new year.
Some very charismatic Christians adopted me as their spiritual kindred and bestowed on me rides to and fro.
I used to walk between five and 10 miles a day, but now I'm blessed to have a very special gentleman who picks me up in the morning and gives me a ride to the library and likewise gives me a ride home.
Another spiritual experience occurred when a nice lady saw me wearing a Santa cap and intriguingly gave me  a ride and has become a benefactor to me.
So, today I say I love all of my old friends and all of my newfound friends who've blessed me with their presence in my life.
I don't have a romantic significant other due to long, lost circumstances.
But I'm a happy camper because I know people care about me.
As someone once said, "Sometimes people don't care what you know, until they know you care."
I try and pass on that message in every way I can.
Others have provided me with warm boots to wear and a warm place to reside.
I love them for providing me shelter from the storms of life.
To end this blog I resolve and challenge everyone to follow John Wesley's Rule:
"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all they ways you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can."
So Happy Valentine's Day all ye kindred spirits!!

Three Dog Night

With temperatures projected to dip down to single digits tonight, it's apropos to say this will be a "Three Dog Night."
The coldest Eskimo night is termed a three-dog night, because it takes three dogs to keep them warm.
Some of us wish we had dogs to snuggle up with us and keep us cozy.
For my houseless brethren, they're praising the humanitarian gestures offered by College Avenue Baptist Church which opens its church up to those less fortunate whenever the temperature is supposed to go below 20 degrees.
And this is from a church struggling just to meet its own needs financially.
Praises to Pastor Aaron Combs and his Christian spirit!!
Those folks at College Avenue Baptist on the corner of Martin Luther King and College possess the kindest hearts in Fayetteville.
They've been feeding the struggling souls of Fayetteville on Sunday mornings with scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy and sausage and hot coffee.
If anyone wants to contribute or just drop by and see what's going on please support these kind-hearted Christians at 9 a.m. on Sunday morning.
Don't get know better than that for helping the needy!!